From May 23-26, 2008 Young Adult Friends (YAF) (18-35) conference Living as Friends Listening Within met in Richmond, Indiana to talk about what it means to be in the Religious Society of Friends across branches. YAF epistle
I was excited to go to the conference because I am trying to become more connected with my own age group. When I first left the meeting people would ask me how it went and I had no response. I was not sure what had happened for me while away. My favorite part was driving nine and a half hours in a packed rental van with six other people some of whom I did not know until I got in the car.
Now looking back there was lots that was remarkable. The first night (Friday) during programmed worship we were asked “How can so many college students abroad in other countries for four months or a year when we can’t look at our own brother and sisters here in the United States of America who are part of the Religious Society of Friends?” This was an eye opening experience. I am looking at spending my time abroad in England studying Quaker history, does this count as looking at my brothers and sisters since I come from a Liberal Unprogrammed Meeting but am now worshipping with Conservative Unprogrammed Friends in North Caroline. While yes I think it does because some of the same conflicts that have separated us in the US are hot issues in Britain.
The next evening (Saturday) we were talking about spiritual gifts with in the YAF community. I have struggled since I was 14 with what YAF’s do and how are they part of the greater Religious Society of Friends. A few friends were asked to talk first to start the conversation about what leadings and gifts they have/had. These were very moving for me but then when we settled into worship it felt like we might have moved into the common worship for Youth empowerment that we can do everything to change the Religious Society. I tried to stand up at one point and someone else had stood up so we had a moment in silence of passing off to each other. After this friend, I was clear not to stand quickly and give a message so I was okay when worship was closed. Since I was still trying to discerning if I had a message I did not join in with the singing. I stayed seated and held the meeting in pray because we were not done. Once the song was done though there was some silence and I was given a chance to give my message:
Friends we need to go home to what we call our meetings and get the help we need. We cannot do all this good work with out the help of our meetings. When we come to these gatherings we need to have more rooting than ourselves. Youth won’t be able to get anywhere without our elders and older peers.
What comes to me now is a sense that George Fox was not able to do his work alone. It took a community of other friends make his movement sucessful. Yes youth do have a role in the Religious Society of Friends but it is first going to take us being rooted and having help more than once or twice a year when we see large amounts of our age peers.
I also said something about being one of the youngest friends because I am 19 and at the end of the spectrum but do not always feel lead to come to YAF events because I need the more spiritual groundedness. The meeting had turned into popcorn worship, which is not easy for me when I am trying to hear what God is saying.
The next night (Sunday) we had two speakers and one of them had asked me to accompany him. I was pleased to work with him. He came in Saturday night and I was with him for the rest of the weekend. Their message was very powerful and the worship was deep once we got passed the surface issues that were bugging us. The most moving of the stories was a young friend who rose to tell us that she had finally heard God and he said that he loved her. It was a very tender place for all of us but the affects were big.
There is a lot of energy from Young Adults to continue working on bridge building and to get to know our sister and brothers who are also part of the Religious Society of Friends even if they worship differently and use different language.
I felt at home the whole weekend and would be willing to go to anther conference as a grounding force.
Friday, July 11, 2008
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3 comments:
I haven't had the time to fully discuss these thoughts with other YAFs, but I feel frustrated that so many of us aren't actually members of, or active in, Monthly Meetings.
If being a Quaker is defined as being a member of a Monthly Meeting, isn't that where it all starts? Don't we need the grounding of a Monthly Meeting to support us in our various works, whether that be serving on YM committees, FGC committees or what-have-you. So many YAFs float around in various cities, meetings, etc, and for some in the Philly area, PYAF is their *only* meeting, and it isn't one. If we want elders to take us, as young people, seriously, we need to step up to the plate, join a Monthly Meeting, and get involved. Building bridges between YAFs of all branches is important, but so is connecting with Friends of all ages right here in our own areas. So how do we encourage folks to step up to the plate, take that action and create that groundedness?
Johanna
Johanna- I really struggle with that as well. What does it mean to be Quaker if we don't attend meetings? I know that the Quaker values impact the way we live our lives, but we also need to have communities that ground us, especially if Friends feel like they have a leading. Corporate discernment is really important part of our faith.
So what do we do if monthly meetings do not have the spiritual depth that so many Friends crave? Is it our responsibility to join and try to make change? So many younger Friends do not want to participate in business meeting or be on committees. How do we help make change when Friends don't want to take part in these established ways of being in a Quaker community?
All things I wrestle with. Thanks for the post Rebecca!
Peace, Emily
I appreciate the post and the comments, everyone.
From a slightly older Friend (I'm 45 but haven't been among Friends as long as Rebecca or Emily), I have wrestled with similar concerns, especially (1) the lack of grounding and connection within my own monthly meeting at a time when I was spiritually famished; and (2) the disappointment and frustration at how spiritually lacking my meeting seemed to be.
It took me more than 3 years to understand what I needed, and another 2-3 years to begin to labor more visibly within the meeting itself.
I had to be willing to be patient (arrrgh!) and to seek help from a very, very small group of Friends who could sit with me and listen me into the Truth that I was given. From there, other openings have emerged--including more committee service!-- and I have stepped into those openings, sometimes resulting in a great deal of spiritual pain and spiritual exercise.
Now, five or six years after my first inkling that something was amiss for me, some Friends are beginning to talk with one another about the condition of the meeting and what it means to restore or reclaim some traditional practices, such as eldering and testing one's leadings.
That said, I have been more aware of the gap between YAFs and older Friends, and I'm growing more concerned. I don't think there's only one way to address it: we need a "multi-pronged approach."
One prong could be something along the lines that Johanna has lifted up, in which YAFs take the initiative and hold one another accountable for getting involved and hanging in there--while also getting refreshment at YAF events in order to sustain the challenges of being invisible or unheard at meeting.
Another prong could be that older Friends could intentionally start "seeing" YAFs and invite them into dialogue about things like leadings, perceptions of the condition of the meeting, and ways for both of them to nurture even younger Friends.
Come to think of it, I haven't invited any younger Friends in my own meeting, for example, to come to a business session or to a specific adult education session that might be of interest to them.
Hmmm. More work to do!
Blessings,
Liz Opp, The Good Raised Up
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