The New Young Elder and The Experience of Change

YAF conference response late better than never

2008-07-11T11:04:00.001-05:00

From May 23-26, 2008 Young Adult Friends (YAF) (18-35) conference Living as Friends Listening Within met in Richmond, Indiana to talk about what it means to be in the Religious Society of Friends across branches. YAF epistle

I was excited to go to the conference because I am trying to become more connected with my own age group. When I first left the meeting people would ask me how it went and I had no response. I was not sure what had happened for me while away. My favorite part was driving nine and a half hours in a packed rental van with six other people some of whom I did not know until I got in the car.

Now looking back there was lots that was remarkable. The first night (Friday) during programmed worship we were asked “How can so many college students abroad in other countries for four months or a year when we can’t look at our own brother and sisters here in the United States of America who are part of the Religious Society of Friends?” This was an eye opening experience. I am looking at spending my time abroad in England studying Quaker history, does this count as looking at my brothers and sisters since I come from a Liberal Unprogrammed Meeting but am now worshipping with Conservative Unprogrammed Friends in North Caroline. While yes I think it does because some of the same conflicts that have separated us in the US are hot issues in Britain.

The next evening (Saturday) we were talking about spiritual gifts with in the YAF community. I have struggled since I was 14 with what YAF’s do and how are they part of the greater Religious Society of Friends. A few friends were asked to talk first to start the conversation about what leadings and gifts they have/had. These were very moving for me but then when we settled into worship it felt like we might have moved into the common worship for Youth empowerment that we can do everything to change the Religious Society. I tried to stand up at one point and someone else had stood up so we had a moment in silence of passing off to each other. After this friend, I was clear not to stand quickly and give a message so I was okay when worship was closed. Since I was still trying to discerning if I had a message I did not join in with the singing. I stayed seated and held the meeting in pray because we were not done. Once the song was done though there was some silence and I was given a chance to give my message:
Friends we need to go home to what we call our meetings and get the help we need. We cannot do all this good work with out the help of our meetings. When we come to these gatherings we need to have more rooting than ourselves. Youth won’t be able to get anywhere without our elders and older peers.

What comes to me now is a sense that George Fox was not able to do his work alone. It took a community of other friends make his movement sucessful. Yes youth do have a role in the Religious Society of Friends but it is first going to take us being rooted and having help more than once or twice a year when we see large amounts of our age peers.

I also said something about being one of the youngest friends because I am 19 and at the end of the spectrum but do not always feel lead to come to YAF events because I need the more spiritual groundedness. The meeting had turned into popcorn worship, which is not easy for me when I am trying to hear what God is saying.

The next night (Sunday) we had two speakers and one of them had asked me to accompany him. I was pleased to work with him. He came in Saturday night and I was with him for the rest of the weekend. Their message was very powerful and the worship was deep once we got passed the surface issues that were bugging us. The most moving of the stories was a young friend who rose to tell us that she had finally heard God and he said that he loved her. It was a very tender place for all of us but the affects were big.

There is a lot of energy from Young Adults to continue working on bridge building and to get to know our sister and brothers who are also part of the Religious Society of Friends even if they worship differently and use different language.

I felt at home the whole weekend and would be willing to go to anther conference as a grounding force.

Belief Net Results

2008-04-30T00:05:00.001-05:00

I have never taken this test before but tonight I was reminded of it and took the test. I had a hard time answering some of the questions but I am truly a Quaker.

1.	Liberal Quakers (100%)
2.	Theravada Buddhism (93%)
3.	Unitarian Universalism (92%)
4.	New Age (84%)
5.	Neo-Pagan (81%)
6.	Taoism (81%)
7.	Mahayana Buddhism (80%)
8.	Orthodox Quaker (79%)
9.	Secular Humanism (79%)
10.	Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (75%)
11.	Scientology (67%)
12.	Reform Judaism (63%)
13.	New Thought (62%)
14.	Bahá'í Faith (58%)
15.	Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (58%)
16.	Jainism (54%)
17.	Nontheist (46%)
18.	Sikhism (42%)
19.	Seventh Day Adventist (40%)
20.	Hinduism (35%)
21.	Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (31%)
22.	Islam (28%)
23.	Orthodox Judaism (28%)
24.	Eastern Orthodox (18%)
25.	Roman Catholic (18%)
26.	Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (16%)
27.	Jehovah's Witness (16%)

4,000th troop death: What does it take to open our eyes?

2008-03-25T23:48:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I get on email from Providence (PA) Meeting that they would be holding a vigil for the 4,000th American troop death. I was struck that it had not been much more than a year since I had been to a vigil at with them commemorating the 3000th death.

As the day went on I started wondering how can I commemorate this marker while here at school. I starting emailing the head of campus ministries and GPEACE, Guilford’s Peace club, about getting something organized for the next day so the news could get out. By the end of the day we had planned an event for this evening to be held on campus.

A candle light vigil with 20 people standing in a circle happened this evening at 8pm. I had just come from Bible study where we had talked about the Resurrection. I brought my Bible because it is my new best friend. I had been asked to talk a little bit about why we were gathered but was instead lead to read from Luke 24: 28-31

As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus acted as if he were going farther. But they urged him strongly, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.” So he went in to stay with them.
When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight.

How can we open our arms and invite others to come eat with us? What will it take for us to have our eyes opened to recognize what we are missing?

Max Carter went on to include that Jesus at this point had been traveling for two hours with these men before he was recognized. What does it mean for him to be recognized when he is breaking the bread but not when he is explaining the Scriptures?

I found this time very moving to take another hour out of my very full evening to stand in prayer recognizing that Guilford Students do care about the war even though it was the beginning of the week.

Spirit Moving Through Me When Not at School

2007-12-17T10:23:00.000-05:00

Lots has been bubbling while I have been at school. I am off for five weeks now.

I was invited to the Traveling Ministries Consultation on Emerging Gifts of Gospel Ministry. I was excited to be invited to something for being myself. At one point I remarked to someone that it was weird not to have my parents with me. I am so used to being places with them but this is part of growing up, traveling by myself. It was so nice to have seasoned ministers and elders meeting with those of us coming into the work.

The hardest thing I worked with was trying to figure out how to get the support I need while I am not living near my meeting of membership, Santa Cruz. When given the chance to ask questions in the large group I put a question in about how to get support when away from our homes meeting. When we introduced ourselves the first night a lot of us said we were from one meeting but worshiping somewhere else. As a group we had a hard time figuring out how to get support that was face to face. People recommended email and phone conversations on a regular basis, but this does not generate the personal connection that I am longing for with the people I am living with. I was glad to hear that people said approved of phone conversations because I feel like I am always on my phone talking to someone who is not at school. I am going to start having regular phone conversations with some of my closest friends.

I realized early in the weekend that I need to get a support committee at Guilford who will hold me accountable and help me figure out what I want to be doing in my life, in particularly while I am at school. I am not getting a lot of the spiritual support I am looking for so hopefully this committee will help me be grounded while I am at school. We have not met yet but I hope that we will start meeting on a regular basis once we get back from winter break. The committee is made up of two Quaker Leadership staff members and one of my peers on the committee.

On Saturday night a Friend gave ministry on remembering to love our meetings, not only the ones we are members of but also the ones we are worshipping in. I am so glad for this reminder because it is not easy to remember to love people while we are traveling. I have been struggling with the idea that I am not in Santa Cruz anymore but want to be connected. I have asked for a minute of sojourn for Friendship Meeting in Greensboro, which has been approved and I can see sometime in the next year or two joining that meeting. How do we be part of a meeting when we now we will be there for a few years, but will not be going home to our home meetings?

Another thing that I learned from this weekend is that I need to debrief with someone when coming back to school from a spiritual retreat. It happened that the first leg of my trip was with some friends so we got to hang out after the workshop and that made it easier to come back to school, even if it was only for a week.

I am excited to say I have been traveling and see spirit working in me while I am traveling. Hope spirit is working through you as well.

Whirlpool of Love

2007-10-10T18:43:00.000-05:00

This weekend I went to a wedding and gave ministry where I talked about being caught in the whirlpool of love and joy. There has only been one time while at school that I have felt caught in a whirlpool of loving support.

How can I create this love at school? How can I create the community for this to come from? How can I have time to connect with people so I can feel the love?

Part of this weekend was a check-in with my spiritual community that started on the West Coast. This check in was powerful because it gave me a chance to center down farther than while at school because I know people will be able to support me. I am a little scared here at school to get this centered because I feel like people will not be able to support me while I am in this place.

How can that Whirlpool of Love support me from a far?

School

2007-09-04T18:27:00.000-05:00

I am finally three weeks into school and getting a hang of my schedule. Work is not stressing me out that much mostly because I am a few days ahead from working this weekend. I am excited about all my classes.

I am taking a History of Religion in America class which is looking at Native American religion and beliefs and how other religions then entered the continent. I am also taking a Quakerism class on social testimonies. I am not so excited about this class other than it is giving space to read some good Quaker books that I have wanted to read for a year or two. It is nice to be reading them and then having class discussions but I am not sure what I am getting out of this class yet.

My favorite two classes are English and a class called "narrative and the creation of self."
For english I am writing a paper on something important to me: community. The essay is a collage of stories around my year at Pendle Hill. It is nice to have time to reflect on my year and get a nice write up of the year and what I am taking away from it.
I am hoping to take some tips on how to make my blog/ writing better out of both my narative and english classes. The narrative class right now is looking at how we define ourselves through different types of writing. So next week I have to write my life story in four or five pages and then I will rewrite it as a myth and fairy tale later in the semester.

Social life is fun here at college but it is hard to stay a way from parties and people being harsh because they are drunk. In my world there would not be miss use of alcohol and other drugs.

This is a quick update and hopefully I will have more time soon to do a more in depth and spiritual update.

Love
Rebecca

Quaker Leadership Scholars Program

2007-08-17T10:44:00.000-05:00

On Monday I arrived at Guilford College to start my freshman orientation. I had to be here a few days early so that I could get to know my year level in the Quaker Leadership Scholars Program (QLSP).

The first activity we did as a group after getting to know each other was a game called Agree or Disagree. In this game a bunch of questions are asked and everyone answers them for themselves. Most of our questions were questions about our faith. All the questions were on a scale. One of the things I noticed was that I was one of the few kids who were not in the clump of people. On theological questions about the bible or christocentric language I was one of the few people who was excepting. It was interesting for me to realize how comfortable I felt when answering some of the questions.

Afterwards we had a discussion about how the experience felt to us. I liked the activity and said so but then at the end I had one other piece of ministry that had a risen for me. At one point Max Carter had commented that my dad was one place higher then him on one of the conversations. He did it straight to be because he was playing around with me. But I had to bring it to peoples minds that we are in college and college is a time for people to figure out who they are as an adult. It was nice to say that because then I felt like I was letting the labels of my parents off my back even though I do like to identify with that.

I am glad that I had some extra time here to get to know QLSP and I can't wait to get to class so that I can get to know this group even more.

School Flag

2007-06-25T15:25:00.000-05:00

My new school this year has every graduating class make a flag that is then hung in alumni hall with the class picture. I took sewing the second semester and was pulled into the class flag project. It was a lot of fun but quite stressful because there was a deadline and lots to get done. We finished the flag with minutes to go before it needed to be put on a truck and taken to Villanova for graduation.

Then we had to talk about the flag and unveil it because it is a secret. The class voted from four different options but only a few of us new what the design was and what the finished product looked like.

This project was a lot of fun and taught me a lot about different sewing techniques.

Home? What is Home to a Traveler?

2007-06-22T09:44:00.000-05:00

Where is home?

This has been the query of my year. Now that I have been back to California I am wondering where home truly is. All year I have used the word home in context to mean both California and Pennsylvania. Now I wonder if Santa Cruz is home. I have felt like a visitor this week and it is true that I am, but at the same time I feel at home because I know where everything is, almost better than my friends.

I spent a full day up at Quaker Center last weekend. It was wonderful to be on the property and have no plans. I spent the morning at the Labyrinth and got to see the sky light up. I was so glad that I had spent some time to welcome the day and just be in nature. Nature is such a key part of my life and sometimes I forget to welcome it into my day. Then I spent the rest of the day hanging out in the office and in the orchard. Two key parts of my life when I was growing up. Having time to reconnect with the property was key because I did not realize how much I missed it until I was there.

Home is such a relative idea that I don't know how to deal with it. When I say home here on the west coast I mean Wallingford PA. It is so strange to here this. Maybe coming back is letting me close the chapter of my life that I did not finish last year. Last year I didn't tell a lot of people I was moving and now that I have seen everyone and said goodbye and see them graduate maybe I have moved on and Home is now Wallingford.

Where is Home? Wherever I feel my life is based and now it feels like Pendle Hill is my Home in Wallingford PA

Ministry for Pendle Hill

2007-06-20T20:44:00.001-05:00

I have found that this year at Pendle Hill has let me be spiritually grounded.

For the Spring Terms Festival Week, I had a leading to give a presentation and when it came time to turn in my form that said I wanted to I asked two friends to sit with me and check my leading. It was clear that I had been a key part of the community and that I was supposed to give some report but I was not sure what. I turned in my form and I sat with the idea for almost two weeks before I had to give my presentation.

My presentation was on Thursday and I had to finish High School finals that same week so I was glad that the presentation was on Thursday because that meant that all I had to worry about on Thursday was the presentation. When I got home on Wednesday and was finally done with finals and High School other than graduation stuff I found some time to sit in silence and prepare. I had thought hard for two weeks about my experience at Pendle Hill and had broken down the three terms.
Fall Term
school and teens
Winter Term
get to know community and become a full time community member who also had to go to school, senoritis falls into my school work as well as not having a lot of homework.
Spring Term
deepening conversations and self examination through other relationships I formed

On Wednesday evening one of the presentation was to have an evening meeting for worship at 10 pm. I was stoked to have the opportunity to worship in the Barn at night and be with these lovely people. I walked into worship and helped set up and was totally prepared to have a young persons worship. Then when the roomed filled with just about as many older community members as younger I was excited. We all settled quickly and it was some of the most centered worship I have experienced while at Pendle Hill. After about fifteen minutes, I had ministry to give but it is what I am supposed to say in the morning during my presentation so I tried to look past it and see if there is something for this group now. There was not ministry for the whole group but there is something for a participant so I held on to my ministry.

When worship was broken we had some worship sharing about the experience of having worship at ten at night and not in the morning even though it was in the same room. It was nice to hear everyone’s thoughts that they liked the room and that almost everyone agreed that spirit was present even though no one talked for the whole half an hour. After worship sharing people just hung out in a worshipful state. We sang songs and played campfire like games. I was glad to be in the presence with others but was not in a space to participate in more rowdy activities. I was fully present to myself. I was trying to stay centered with my idea that my year at Pendle Hill was less than a week away from being done.

Finally the group started to break up and I got to talk to the person I needed and I headed to bed not needing to spend anytime on my presentation because it was ready as long as I could stay centered for the next ten hours.

I got up on Thursday and went to breakfast so that I would be awake and present to the community while I was presenting. Next was worship. Worship was a challenge for me. I made the correct decision to pick who I was going to sit next to because I wanted to make sure they could help me stay centered during worship if I got distracted. I never really centered during worship until five minutes before it ended. Once I was centered I wanted to stay that way until my presentation so I did not pay attention to announcements. I became aggravated with how long announcements were taking towards the end and it took my friend Therese to calm me down and reassure me that I would get the time I needed to give my presentation. The last announcement of the morning was that our dear Ann was leaving before worship on Friday so we needed to sing the goodbye song this morning. I choose not to stand up and join the community, but instead stayed sitting and put my head down. I did join in on the song as I was lead but it took a while for me to be okay with the fact that the song was being sung and I wanted to be getting ready for my presentation.

After the song was done some friends helped me get the room prepared by moving the benches closer and then making sure I was okay. I was and I was ready for people to come hear me present. I asked Therese if she would be willing to sit with me on the facing bench and be my time keeper so that all I had to focus on was being faithful.

Presentation
I started in worship and people joined me. Out of the silence, I introduced my game plan of continuing in worship and me speaking out of silence as I was called and at the end I would shake hands and we would make a circle. I wanted to be able to settle back into worship and check what I was supposed to be saying as the presentation went. This was very helpful for me because I felt held as I was presenting.

I settled back into worship and then when I was fully centered I read a poem. I had written the poem for someone else but it seemed relevant to my experience at Pendle Hill and how I am feeling about life.

After reading the poem I dropped back into worship and then started talking about identity and who I am. I am part of the community even if I am not a student. I talked about the idea that the community helped me become an adult. I took a step away from my family. During the year I moved away from being part of the Sullivan Clan and I became Rebecca Sullivan a community member of Pendle Hill whose father has brought her to here.

Then, I ended by reading another poem and looked at a third and read one stanza that popped out. After reading the poems, I took another few minutes to settle back into worship before I ended with the shaking of hands.

I felt centered the whole time and I was full with joy that I had made a mark at Pendle Hill and was able to feel like I was wrapping up my year at Pendle Hill. Pendle Hill is my home but it is not going to feel the same when I go home because the community won't be the same.

-----
Here are the poems in the order I read them. I wrote them on October 8, 2006 while at Pendle Hill but dealing with not being in what I then called home(Santa Cruz CA). It was nice to look back and see what I was dealing with and how it still related to my life six months later and that it would probably always relate because we are always transitioning.

Experiences

We don't get to let ourselves leave
We just move on and build up
We are made up o four experiences

Our new experiences maybe good
and may be bad
Our new experiences are what
let us grow
We are made up of our experiences

We have to live with our choices
We learn from our choices
Our choices make up our experiences

No one other than ourselves
Can truly understand who we are
Some of our experiences are external
some are internal
We are make up of our experiences

New Area of You

There is a new area of you
You are growing
You are letting go
You are moving on
You are in a new transition

There is a new area of you
You need us
We need you
You need you

There is a new area of you
Be gentle
Seek for guidance
Let yourself go
Follow your leading

There is a new area of you
Do not forget your past
Do not forget your present
Do not forget who you are

Let Yourself Be
(forth stanza only)
Connect to what is meaningful
Connect to your true friends
Connect to your acquaintances
Connect to yourself

College Here I Come II

2007-06-05T20:55:00.000-05:00

I made my decision almost six weeks ago now but my life has been really busy and I have not had much extra time. I will be going to Guilford College next year. I will part of the Quaker Leadership Scholars Program which will give me a Quaker frame work to live in and a community from the start.

This summer I will be in California starting in six days so hopefully i will be able to give an update from there soon because that is the next time I will be able to breath because i graduate from high school on Friday as well as it being Pendle Hill's spring term festival week.

your quick update from Pendle Hill
Love
rebecca

Pendle Hill

2007-03-24T14:14:00.000-05:00

Pendle Hill is such a nice place to live. I now have been here just about six months.

Two weeks ago was the end of the second term. The last week of every term we have Festival Week, which is a time for students to give presentations about what they have been working on during the term. I found myself not wanting to go to school because I wanted to see students presentations. It is so hard to be a community member who is not always around because so much is going on during the day when I am at High School.

During Festival Week, I had three hour delays for school so I was able to take advantage of Meeting for Worship every morning at 8:30. I love Meeting for Worship at Pendle Hill because it gives me chance to start the day off with the community.

Some of the presentation I got to go to were on Palestine, Grieving as a Community, Programmed Meeting for Worship, and music sharing. It was nice to see how much people had grown while here at Pendle Hill.

Palestine

The person talking about Palestine had been denied entry in August and had only recently found a way to talk about it so she was sharing her experience with the community.

Grieving as a community was the post powerful for me. It started off by two students reading a certain Psalm they had struggled with and where now having a dialogue with it. I had never thought of having this dialogue while reading the Bible. We learned so much about these people and got to see how they had been able to move on with their life.

Afterwards we settled into worship for half an hour and people were able to grieve as a community. It was such a community builder because it let people show the emotions they usually hold back.

Programmed Meeting for Worship
I had never taken part in a Programmed meeting so I was hesitant to the idea and was interested to realize that I was willing to participate fully. I entered the Meeting for Worship being willing not to sing all the songs and maybe having to translate the Bible so that I would be able to relate it to my life but instead I was able to hear the Bible reading for what it was and take the message fully and relate it to my life.
The message was about how Age, Class, Race, Gender, ect. don't matter; God will be able to see through it and is willing to give the message to whoever. This has been a big issue for me and I have needed to remind myself and others that because I am under 18 God does not filter the messages God gives me.

Music Sharing
Two students have been working on their music while at Pendle Hill. One has been working on a CD he released this last week. It was nice to hear some of the new songs. The other student has not been able to make music for three years and he finally was able to share with us last term and this term he had three new songs. He is thinking of starting to record under another name. It was nice to see both students share their music and see what happens when they are at home or in the recording studio.

Mid Winter Gathering

2007-03-07T20:45:00.000-05:00

I spent this weekend with Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered and Queer Concerns. It was so much fun. I felt like it was truly a leading to go. I was taking part with the adults as felt lead as well as my own age group. It was exciting to get to see all these friends that are part of my up bringing while I am at Friends General Conference.

I learned that sometimes we need to come away from a situation with spirit and look at it a different way. Spirit is not always going to allow us to get through a conflict our normal way. Sometimes conflicts need to be dealt differently.

College Decision Not Yet Clear

2007-03-06T21:12:00.000-05:00

I have made it into both Earlham and Guilford. I decided not to apply to Oberlin because I had already heard back from Guilford by the time I needed to apply to Oberlin and
Earlham.

I am have applied for the Quaker Leadership Scholars Program at Guilford and am going to wait to see which school has a better calling for me.

I have seen both school now and I am sitting with God feeling like I will know which school is better for me at some point in the next two months.

College Continued

2007-01-06T22:14:00.000-05:00

Hi all

I have been really busy recently between getting into college and school. The good news is that I have gotten into Guilford College with a scholarship and more options ahead. The not so good news is that I have a few more weeks before I hear from Earlham.

I am starting to feel homesick now that it has been four months. Moving and getting used to a new area is so hard. I have not been so faithful at getting to meeting because I have been lead to stay at home and have some a lone time.

I hope that your new year goes better than mine has since I am out of sports for at least another week with a sprained ankle.

peace
Rebecca

ps I am loving the messages others are giving even though I am not writing some of my own.

College Here I Come

2006-11-15T21:02:00.000-05:00

I sent my first college application today.
Guilford Down
Earlham and Oberlin to go

I am excited to have my first one done because it means the initial thinking is done and now I can use the first essay and adapt it as needed or write a new thing.

hope everyone is well

peace
rebecca

Quilt for Parents

2006-10-01T17:27:00.000-05:00

My parents 20th wedding aniversary was on September 20th and Grace and I organized making them a quilt. We did it all over the email to get the fabric and then we made the actual quilt while they were out of the house and at a friends house.

We gave it to them on their anniversary in the Pendle Hill dinning room. It was really nice because they did not have a single idea even though we had hinted at it to my dad's face.

more pictures on flickr.

peace
rebecca

Poems/ Songs of the Week

2006-09-17T15:39:00.000-05:00

Disarm by Smashing Pumpkins

Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn

I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my choice
Whats a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you

Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one whos left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn

I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
Whats a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you

The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you

---
This song reminds me that I am still a child and I should use it as I have it. I wish there was a way for me to become a child again or at least be ale to communicate with more people my own age. I do not know why it is so hared, but it seams like I have different priorities than those my age. I want to understand why I am learning and want to be educated so that I can take part in conversations about the world and politics. The world is important to me, but I do not understand why we have to go to college to make money and be educated. If we went back to the old ways and learned form our parents what was happening in the world I would feel more prepared for the world inform of me. I know vary few people who are still working with what they majored in on less they are a teacher.

Pacific Yearly Meeting

2006-09-11T14:23:00.000-05:00

So on August 2nd at yearly meeting a jumped a lot of loop holes for my yearly meeting.

First I actually prayed from my knees and then I clerked the adult plenary.

Wednesday night was Pacific Yearly Meetings Youth Plenary and I and the other five people that were part of Koinonia were asked to seed the meeting. The seeding was very meaning full for me. I knew that was very spiritually settled since Tony Prete had talked the day before and Koinia had held Kristina in the light the night before for her talk. So being asked for our tight knit group share was an honor.

We met with multiple people about how we wanted the plenary to run including the idea that we were going to go at the youth pace which meant we could have been there all night. Because we had everyone from the age of 8 months to the nineties we had to set some limit so we decided that we would end at 10 and let the plenary last for three hours if that was what we were lead to do.

So we opened with people arriving at 6:45 and the Koinonia group sitting in worship after settling. At about 6:45 before plenary had started I was lead to give the Koinonia group a prayer from my knees to open it for us. While I was on my knees the clerk opened the meeting and had to quick items of business and I just continued until I was done even though the rest of the group was just gathering.

Once the clerk was done with his business he handed it over to Diego and Diego introduced Koinonia and the process that we were going to follow and again warning people that plenary could go to 10 o'clock.

Then we settled down into worship and I felt like I needed to do the same prayer with small variations so not to talk about other people to the whole plenary. This prayer lead into what struck me from Koinonia, how much we had become a small group that was deeply connected. We became connected through our daily check-ins were everything was free game and no one really kept anything to themselves. It was at check-in that the true feeling came out and where at the same time we bonded.

Then Darcy and Hank talked about their favorite or most intriguing parts: Meeting for Healing and working at the soup kitchen.

After this we settled into worship and for about half an hour we heard from adults. When I felt like we were moving to fast I would motion to Zac and he would wait a little while before he let the next person speak. It was nice to hear what the adults had to say but what we were trying to do was let the younger people talk.

Finally after Zac asked a few people to sit down and let the younger people have time to figure out what they wanted to say we had our first Young Adult stand. This Young Friend talked about how she really did not know where she belonged in our community. She was too old for Junior Yearly Meeting but she did not feel connected to the Young Friends. The people she connected with the most were not at Yearly Meeting and so she did not really know where she was in the mass of the yearly meeting.

Once she was done and totally in tears Darcy and I went over to her and invited her into the group. It sort of set up the room for people to be willing to tell what was on their minds and teens and young friends were all of a sudden open and willing to tell the adults how hard it was to be a teen this year. All the Junior Yearly Meeting teens talked about how the unity and community they were used to seeing was not here this last year. They did not really understand why but it was not there for them.

When I first heard someone say that I went straight to myself and blamed it on me because I was still the age to be in that group and I had left them to deal by themselves and they did not have adults helping. But then my second response was that no it was not my fault, I tried to help them and gave them all the help I could from the position I was.

When teens opened up some of us from the group in the front would go get them and their friends around them and bring them into the front circle. Finally the circle was cleared and it was all teens and I gave it over.

At first once their were about twelve other people I felt like we were changing the environment and that I did not want to have so many people up front but then I let it go so that God could work his magic.

I was still standing in the front and setting the pace but I did not feel like I was part of the support community I was just the one in the front holding the space and observing what was happening to the Junior Yearly Meeting Community along with all the other people in the room.

Finally we hit 10 o'clock and I took the microphone and told people it was 10 and that it was time for us to close but that I wish we could have gone on. I asked for our minutes to be read. (They are the attached minutes now because they were really long and complete so the clerk asked me if he could make them an attachment.) After the minutes were read one JYMer said that he felt there was a major barrier in the room. There were those in the front and those in the back and he wanted everyone to be in the front like we were one big community. So we ended at 10:40 with about 100 people standing in a circle/ mosh pit but it took us about 10 or 15 minutes to be willing to leave that circle.

It was extremely powerful to have children under the age of 13 be in the room. I thought it was a good example for them on how powerful plenary can be and what they are growing up into.

I have to give Robin M. and Chris M.'s kids the award for the youngest kids to stay. They stayed until 10 and right before they left I gave them each a hug and thanked them personally for staying the whole time and being attentive even if they were talking and playing.

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This whole experience was very powerful for me and it has taken me two weeks to even be able to start writing about it and this blog took about three weeks to write.

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JYM – Junior Yearly Meeting – High School aged teens

Young Friends is after JYM and until you are 35 but our oldest is under 30.

The lines at Pacific Yearly Meeting are not firm so when you feel ready you move up. This year I moved up to the adults and did not participate much in either JYM or Young Friends.

Arrived in Pennsylvania

2006-09-04T19:27:00.000-05:00

Yes, my family has made it to Pennsylvania and we are almost unpacked. We are at the next stage in moving, Dad starts his job tomorrow and Grace and I start going to school.

The big things are to come in our life. Not only do we all start our new beginings my mom is going to be out of town this week traveling and so it will just be three of us again.

I will be doing a little bit more of an update later including my Yearly Meeting experience sometime in the next week hopefully.

i have put up some photos of Koinonia and of our travels across some states on Flickr.

peace
rebeccca

Koinonia: the experience of being in community

2006-08-16T22:25:00.000-05:00

The last two weeks (July 24 – August 5) I was in Los Angeles. The first week I was living at the Orange Grove Meeting House in Pasadena, California. There were six of us looking at the economic discrepancies in metropolitan Los Angeles.
Five of us took the train down from the San Francisco area. On the train we got to joke around and get to know each other in different ways than when we had hung out with each other before. Our age rang was from 15 to 56 while on the train and then by the end of the week it was from 16 to 59.
While on the train, I stated to read a lot from the Bible. I have never been interested in the Bible until these last few weeks. It became really interested when I went to Bible Study one Sunday and we started talking about how we took the Bible and the practical translations for this day. This really helped me to understand how I should read the Bible and how it can help me now.
The Bible I was carrying with me was only the New Testament and had eight different translations so it was very helpful to me to understand the different ways the Bible can be translated. I was hoping that we might have sometime to do Bible Study while in LA but we filled our schedule in other ways.
Once we got to LA we took the gold line to Pasadena and walked to the Meeting House where we settled in and made dinner at nine o’clock at night. The first night we were so tired that we just decided we wanted to hang out and that the second day would be at the meeting house and scheduling and getting to know each other.
When we got up in the morning we started with meeting for worship and then looked at our schedule and decided what we wanted to do and when we wanted to do it.
My favorite thing about Koinonia was the check-ins that we did everyday during dinner. This is were became totally transparent to each other and update people in how the day went.
My next favorite experience was going to the Los Angeles Catholic Soup Kitchen to serve lunch to the homeless. When we walked down skidrow at 7:30 in the morning but when we walked back at 1 pm we were fine. This change happened because we now new everyone in an intimate way. I felt like I new the people just because I had given them a spork.
One other way that I felt like I was connected over this week was one when I was at the beach and I held Carl in the light. Carl was at Ohio Valley Yearly Meeting and I was sitting on the beach in Santa Monica California. My friend Kristina and I sat there for about thirty minutes and then in forty minutes later I sat in worship again holding him while he finished his speech. This was a very powerful experience because I was totally connected to him and I was more than two thousand miles away.
These are some of the experiences as well as a transformation. I was dealing with getting ready to move and wanting to have some closure with California.

Talking about Blogging In Meeting for Worship

2006-07-23T19:03:00.000-05:00

Today in Meeting for Worship I sat down and right away I was quaking and really deep. I did not feel like everyone else was a long with me but I did not care. I was periodically called back to this deep since.

The second message of the day was about what if God was a blogger. God isn’t “God the Father” God is “God the Blogger.” This really stuck me. Some later gave ministry about how when people are in a community they become open and this person sort of said that if all we did was read we would be able to be open in the same way. I disagreed right away but sat with it for a long while.

I started to dismiss the whole ministry thing and then I started having a major feeling that something needed to be said but was sure it was not ministry. I thought most of my feelings were around having to leave this meeting in just three weeks and me grieving.

The strong feeling of ministry came back a last time right before meeting ended and I did not know what to do so I grabbed on to Kristina to try to settle myself but it was not helping so when meeting closed I sat there and took my time in closing for myself. During Afterthoughts I contemplated on what to say and then I just stood up (after being prompted by Kristina) and let spirit talk through me. I talked about how there is a group of people online that have created a community to look at Quakerism and that for me it is my part of my spiritual practice to get on QuakerQuaker.org every morning after I check my email.

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This is the first time that I have spoken in this meeting. I have grown up in this meeting and I think this is part of the reason. Kody and I had this conversation with my dad when he was here this last week about why we do not minister in the meetings we grow up in (maybe a post for later).

I am a member of Santa Cruz Monthly Meeting

2006-07-23T18:31:00.001-05:00

Last week was my called meeting for worship for the concern for business. It was extremely nice. Because it was the only business the assistant clerk stood up right before meeting was dismissed and explained the process I had gone through and then asked if there where and problems with this. No one had any problems and no one had brought any forward so it was extremely quick and easy. It was a little hard for me to sit in the meeting because I felt like meeting for worship should not have ended yet even though the time allotment was done.

After the meeting was done I was trying not to stop my worship so that I could got continue worshipping with my friend Kristina but it was almost impossible to get to the other side of the room because people wanted to congratulated me.

Today was the actual welcoming and it was nice as well but again I did not really want worship to end because I knew what was happening afterwards. I was excited but I was also being shy around it because i have been in this meeting since I was three and a half.

The welcoming potluck was fun. My meeting does a membership certificate so I now have a certificate with all the members that were at meeting this week and will take it back in two weeks when I get back from Koinonia and Pacific Yearly Meeting.

Worship on the Train

2006-07-12T10:56:00.000-05:00

My sister and I took the Coast Starlight Amtrak train to FGC Gathering. I knew there were close to 40 other Quakers on the train and I thought it would be wonderful to all meet in one spot so we could see who else was on the train.

So on Friday June 30th I talked to some other Quakers about having Meeting for Worship in the empty room down stairs on the last car. A small group of us went down to look at the compartment and the conductor was down there and over heard our conversation. He was interested and agreed that it would be nice and possible to do it in the empty room. Then we asked him if we could make an announcement since we were spread out through out the train. He had to think about it because they are not allowed to make religious announcements. He agreed on "At 3:45 Friends are going to have a Meeting in the last car down stairs and everyone is invited." this way if you are a Quaker you would know what we meant.

Through out the day we make three different announcements/ reminders. We had to move meeting back a little from the first announcement because of lunch reservations.

The car had no windows and the lights did not turn on so we had to put a bag in the door so that light could get in. The car had been the smoking car when smoking was allowed a few years back. About 35 people showed up. We sat on the floor and almost all had back supports. About 5 people sat in the middle of the car and 5 or so people stood in the hall because they had little/ young kids who need to be moving.

Because we were in a small room not totally comfortable but making the chose to sit there, a lot of the messages were about use being willing to take some time away from the comfort of the train and sitting down where we could not see where we were and even if we were really moving until the train jerks around.

For me it was another reminder of how much choice I have on when I want to step out of my comfort zone. Sitting in a car where I am not sure where I am but I know I will end up in Tacoma Washington was a metaphor of my life at the moment; I know I am going to be at Pendle Hill in August but I am not sure about the time between now and then and how it will all play out but I do not really care because I know it will happen. I did not really care that I was sitting on the floor in a little stuffy room because I was sitting in the spirit and everything was going to work out. The conditions were a distraction at first but then it dissipated because everyone was there because they wanted to be.

After about 45 minutes of worship I closed it and thanked friends for coming and joining. We went around the room and introduced ourselves and what meeting we are from. There was on Friend from New Mexico and then the rest of us were from California. We had two non-Quakers join us and leave halfway through.

It was wonderful to know how many of us were on the train (plus more that could not join because of age or mobility) and know we would be on the train for as long as it took us and that we did not really care how long it would take, until we arrived in the middle of the night.

More on Gathering to come soon.

I have made a decision

2006-06-11T20:34:00.000-05:00

I have finally made my decision. I am going to move with the family.

Last week we found out that my dad got his job at Penndle Hill so we finally knew where we would be housed for at least a year.

For me knowing where we were going to be staying and finding out that I can still apply for Quaker Schools made my decision easier. So I am glad/ sad to say that I will be leaving the West Coast for at least a year. I will either be going to Friends Select School or the local public high school. Friends Select is a Quaker School in central Philadelphia. My mom and I will take a half an hour train ride together and we will only be about ten blocks away. My sister had visit the local high school and says that it is nice and is about the same size as the school I go to know.

I think this a good decision because I will stay with the family and not have to just have phone conversations with the occasional airplane trip to visit. I will miss everyone in my yearly meeting and it will be hard to leave every Quaker that I know and have been around for thirteen almost fourteen years. I am excited for the new year ahead but it is extremely busy until we move and I hope that I will have time to slow down and check in with everyone on the West Coast.

My family is leaving California sometime around the 15th of August and we will be having a good bye party in Berkeley on the 12th of August.

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Hope to see/ meet some of you on the blogsphere at FGC Gathering in three weeks.

Hard Decision Hits

2006-05-24T13:31:00.000-05:00

Two weekends ago, I went to a friends wedding. It was very nice to finally see them have a wedding even if they don't decide to go to the state to be formally recognized.

After the wedding some friends and I went and checked in. This group has been checking in with each other for about five years now but I only recently was added. It was very nice to be able to check in with this group of people. It was hard for me to check in because while listening to everyone else I realized that I now need to make the decision around moving. We are all have close to the same type of changes; we are moving or having large changes in what we are doing in our lives.

I need to make this decision but everything is so complicated. I have to decide if i want to finish high school in the same school district I have been in since kindergarden or if I should move with my family. I am starting to look at quaker school in Philladelphia area and seeing if i can graduate by the end of next year if I moved. It is looking more like I will be moving but it still is in the air.

Koinonia: Community Living Faith in Action

2006-05-24T13:05:00.000-05:00

Two summers ago a group of teens and adults gathered before PYM Annual Session, in San Francisco, for a week-long activity and exploration of Quaker theology. That experience was powerful; transformative for many.

This summer, just before Yearly Meeting (approx July 24 - 29th), we plan to gather in urban Los Angeles for a similar week. Koinonia: community living faith in action will be a week of experiential focus on Quakerism, Jubilee Economics, and considering the integrity of our everyday choices. We will visit the LA Catholic worker, MacArthur Park, plus a 14-acre urban farm where we will work together as we consider this issue of Sabbath economics and Quaker Community.

Will you join us for this week of seeking?

Teens from Pacific Yearly Meeting, ages 15-20, are invited to join a group of adult seekers* to explore: how our Quaker container can support us, connections to our Monthly Meetings, and building a community that explores justice and lives the many questions we have about being Quakers in this time. We’ll worship and talk; play games, do yoga, cook and live together; and get our hands dirty doing good work!

*Kristina Perry(SC), Joe Franko(Orange Gv), Paul Harris (Redwd Forst), Darcy Stanley(Straw Ck) and others…
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For more information – contact Kristina Perry, Humboldt/Santa Cruz meeting at quakerworker AT riseup DOT net or 831. 345-2349 --- or Rebecca Sullivan, Santa Cruz meeting/Past-JYM co-clerk at supersullivan24 AT gmail DOT com.

Return the following to by email or to PO Box 7258 Santa Cruz, CA 95061:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
YES!! I want to be part of KOINONIA this summer before PYM.
Name: Age: Monthly Meeting
Address:
Telephone: Email:
Parent/Guardian Name (if under 18):

Mom Leaves

2006-05-09T12:26:00.000-05:00

On Thursday of last week my mom left for Philadelphia because she is the new Conference Coordinator for FGC. It was a little hard on my family last week since she was trying to get ready to leave and we were just trying to live our normal life.

There was planning meeting this last weekend so I had put off the fact that she was leaving because I knew that I would see her over the weekend. But once we started to have farewell celebrations I started to break down. I got to see her over the weekend but we did not really have time to talk because we were constantly in meetings.

It has now been two days since I last saw her and the house is a total mess and we are still trying to adjust.

Letter of Membership

2006-05-07T23:51:00.000-05:00

Here is the second letter that i wrote and was taken to Business Meeting in February.

February 6, 2006

Dear Santa Cruz Meeting,

I have started to look into my religion and feel like Quakerism is for me. I have felt a closer connection with the meeting since I went away to Woolman and I would like to ask this meeting to accept me as a member.

I feel like being a member of Santa Cruz Friend Meeting will help keep me rooted in Santa Cruz and Pacific Yearly Meeting while I travel and go to school over the next few years.

Sincerely,

Rebecca Sullivan

My Experience Away at Woolman Semester

2006-05-07T23:30:00.000-05:00

Here is a letter that i wrote in February talking about my experience at Woolman Semester at Sierra Friends Center. It is becoming clear that i should start to post for those people who want to have way to figure out how my life is changing and in transition.

This letter was one of two letters that i wrote to my meeting and was read at the February Meeting for Business. This one was the reason for the second but you might want to read the second one first because it leads into this one.

February 5, 2006

Dear Santa Cruz Friends Meeting,

Thank you for giving me a scholarship so that I could take part in the 2005 Fall Woolman Semester. It was a wonderful experience. I learned a lot and grew in many ways.

Three weeks into school, we set out on a wilderness-backpacking trip so that we could get to know the ecosystem we would live in for four months. On the trip, I learned how to read a topographical map and how to set-up a shelter with a plastic tarp, rocks, and rope.

In November, we went on a two and a half week service-learning trip to Mexico. I experienced how stressful it is to drive with a whole lot of people who all have a different opinion on what we should do. First, we think that we want to stop and eat lunch but then some one notices that we are only an hour from a nice park.

We took a week to drive down the Eastern Sierra’s to give presentations on California water issues for our Environmental Science class. I gave a presentation on the Salton Sea, which is twenty- five percent saltier than the Pacific Ocean. One of the reasons for the Salton Sea’s salinity is because the main inlet is agricultural run off, which contains extra salt from the ground. The sea is also evaporating faster than water is coming in so salt is being left behind and the concentration is rising.

We were in Mexico for eight days. Mexico was quite different from the United States; as soon as we crossed the boarder, we saw pedestrians crossing the highway. While trying to caravan with three cars, one of which was an old beat up van, we almost got into three car accidents but we made it safely without touching other cars. Being in Mexico reminded me that poverty around the world is really close and that you don’t need to travel very far to find out how people live differently. It was interesting to see the poverty in Mexico (near the United States) and to remember the poverty I saw in Rwanda seven years ago.

While in Mexico, we worked on multiple projects: finishing a community clinic, tiling a counter, and working on an addition to a building. I mostly worked on the tiling project. While working, I learned that it is really easy to get hurt and make bad decisions when it is late at night and there is not enough light.

In our World Issues class, we learned about media literacy and globalization. Using what we learned in the first ten weeks, each of us wrote a ten-page research paper on whatever world issue we wanted. I wrote about the Second Congo Civil War, which is supposedly done but really is still being fought. The Congo War is a war that was started after the Rwandan Genocide because the genocide perpetrators fled to the Democratic Republic of Congo’s jungles and Rwanda was scared that they were planning another genocide with the help of the Democratic Republic of Congo’s president.

In Peace Studies, I wrote a letter to Selective Services declaring conscientious objector status but did not send it in. I am still trying to decide how everything I have learned informs what I believe and how to best communicate what I believe. Before writing our letters, the class read the Quaker peace testimony from Faith and Practice; I found myself struggling with the wording. This has been one of the major thought provoking parts of my life in school. I do believe in peace but I do not understand why “… all war is inconsistent with God’s will.” (Pg 43). Why would we have war if God had not wanted us to stand up for what we believe? I believe that there is a difference between fighting for food and fighting for resources on another continent. I believe that most of the wars we have been in are against what God would want us to do but I do believe there is a time and place for military help.

We also took Humanities and Ethics where we looked at how the Quaker testimonies fit into our everyday life. This was very helpful because it really made me contemplate how I could change my lifestyle to fit more with my values.

I also grew spiritually. It was extremely nice to be able to go to Meeting every week and have some time to meet with other Quakers. It was wonderful to have Quarterly Meeting at Sierra Friends Center while I was there. Quarterly was extremely moving because spiritual leadings are something that I have been dealing with over the last six months or so.

Woolman was an exciting place for me to explore my spiritual life and learn more about myself. Thank you for supporting all of us who have had the chance to take part in the Woolman Semester.

Thanks,

Rebecca Sullivan

Santa Cruz Friends Meeting